Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Putting it into words
Lately, I am going through a difficult mental journey and putting it down in words is not easy for me. My dear friend asked me to try and so I am going to give it my best shot.
This is the journey to know and believe in oneself. I have to soon take my own decision whether to be a "man" or remain forever a spineless earthworm. If I fail, I have no one but myself to blame. My enemies are faceless but terrifying. They are waiting to sneak upon me when I am unmindful, unsuspecting and weak. The most formidable one is the fear of the unknown. Mistrust, loneliness and self-pity are by no means any friendlier, either. I need to muster all the strength so I can overthrow my enemies and replace them with my positive reassuring friend, love. Weighing me down are all kinds of half-understood responsibilities where I easily lose track of the responsibility I have for myself, the duty of a human life. I remind myself that "life is about loving and not having. It is about trusting one's feelings and taking chances. Life is about happiness not despair."
A question screams at me " but who will be there for me?". The answer is "no one but your own confidence and trust. You will be face to face with what you really are. Thrown out of your comfort zone and familiar surroundings, can you still be proud of your decision and stand by what you have understood so far. This is the real test so make sure you are prepared."