BEAUTY N THE BEAST

Often, when I am bogged down with a problem, I like to take a walk. If the solution is nowhere in sight, my steps are slow and heavy. But, by the time I am able to think through and grasp the solution, the pace changes to a fast, jaunty style. Today, I found the solution to my problem, remembering a fairy tale we read as a kid. I am sure you will recollect the story of the young and kind girl, who chose to live with a beast in order to save her father and how her love finally transformed the monster. I actually, started wondering how the beautiful girl achieved that feat. I have a pretty cousin who has married a boy, not exactly very good looking. I wondered how she manages to live with him and love him. I guess, in love you can look past the external appearances and see the inner beauty. And, what if the situation is a little bit different? What if it is the inner beauty I seek, which appears to be entirely missing and the goals and ideals in life are completely at loggerheads ? In spite of the external beauty I am starting to harbor doubts about the intrinsic goodness of that person. I feel terrified when the beast howls at me. I feel ashamed of my incapacity to fight back. But why is this happening to me ? Don't you love me, God ? Then why am I afraid of any impending danger to me ?
All of a sudden, I remembered the story my father related about facing one's own fear. There was a man who was troubled by the monster. The beast was fierce and strong as long as he feared it and tried to run away from it. However, when he faced it with courage and bravery, the monster was powerless and melted into his own body.
There was yet another Tibetan story along similar lines. A little girl, grazing her yaks, had wandered into a cave. Suddenly, she was face to face with a savage, wild boar. Fear gripped her heart and she had no idea how to escape. But the boar was no ordinary creature. It asked her to forget her fear and look at it again, with love. Magically, this time the creature transformed itself before her eyes to a beautiful woman dressed in rainbow colors. The fear and ugliness had been but only in her heart.
I understood that with your help I can also see the beauty and goodness in the beast. I have to be able to love every reflection of you in order to love you completely.